joke for the day

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She'llbe
Posts: 724
Joined: Tue Aug 03, 2010 6:48 pm

joke for the day

Post by She'llbe » Sat Jan 15, 2011 6:28 pm

I've been flooded in if anyone has heard about the floods in Brisbane, Queensland and northern New South Wales. My email still works and I received this joke that I hope everyone relates to and enjoys.




One day a man decided to retire...

He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time
of his life, that is, until the ship sank.

He soon found himself on an island with no other people, no supplies,
nothing, only bananas and coconuts.

After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day when the most
gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to the shore.

In disbelief, he asks, "Where did you come from? How did you get here?"

She replies, "I rowed over from the other side of the island where I
landed when my cruise ship sank."

"Amazing," he notes. "You were really lucky to have a row boat wash up
with you."

"Oh, this thing?" explains the woman. "I made the boat out of some raw
material I found on the island.

The oars were whittled from gum tree branches. I wove the bottom from
palm tree branches, and the sides and stern came from a Eucalyptus tree."

"But, where did you get the tools?"

"Oh, that was no problem," replied the woman. "On the south side of the
island, a very unusual stratum of alluvial rock is exposed. I found that if
I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into ductile
iron I used that to make tools and used the tools to make the hardware."

The guy is stunned.

"Let's row over to my place," she says.

So, after a short time of rowing, she soon docks the boat at a small
wharf.

As the man looks to shore, he nearly falls off the boat. Before him is a
long stone walk leading to a cabin and treehouse.

While the woman ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, the
man can only stare ahead, dumb struck. As they walk into the house, she
says casually,

"It's not much, but I call it home. Sit down, please."

"Would you like a drink?"

"No! No thank you," the man blurts out, still dazed. "I can't take
another drop of coconut juice."

"It's not coconut juice," winks the woman. "I have a still. How would you
like a Tropical Spritz?"

Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepts, and they sit down
on her couch to talk.

After they exchange their individual survival stories, the woman
announces, "I'm going to slip into something more comfortable. Would you like to
take a shower and shave? There's a razor in the bathroom cabinet upstairs."

No longer questioning anything, the man goes upstairs into the bathroom.
There, in the cabinet is a razor made from a piece of tortoise bone. Two
shells honed to a hollow ground edge are fastened on to its end inside a
swivel mechanism.

"This woman is amazing," he muses. "What's next?"

When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing
but some small flowers on tiny vines, each strategically positioned, she
smelled faintly of gardenias.

She then beckons for him to sit down next to her.

"Tell me," she begins suggestively, slithering closer to him, "We've both
been out here for many months. You must have been lonely. There's something
I'm certain you feel like doing right now, something you've been wishing and
longing for, right?"

She stares into his eyes.

He can't believe what he's hearing. "You mean...you mean.." he swallows excitedly as tears start to form in his eyes and his breathing gets faster and heavier,



"You've built a motorcycle ?"
From the desk of the
Mt. Nardi Yacht Club
PO BOX 95
Nimbin, NSW
Australia 2480
02-6689-1234

User avatar
SteveD
Posts: 4164
Joined: Tue Aug 03, 2010 3:29 am
Location: Melbourne, Oz.

Re: joke for the day

Post by SteveD » Sat Jan 15, 2011 9:41 pm

:D

How's your creek She'llbe? Is it a torrent?

Hope everything is ok.



The current fav in the UK.


A bloke walks into a brothel and says:

"I'm a bit kinky, how much for total humiliation?"

The madam replies $60.

"Wow, what do I get for that," he says.

She says: "A baggy green cap and an Australian Cricket XI shirt.
Cheers, Steve
Victoria, S.E.Oz.


1982 R100RSR100RS supergallery. https://boxerboy81.smugmug.com/
2006 K1200R.

User avatar
Steve78RS
Posts: 84
Joined: Wed Sep 01, 2010 12:20 am
Location: Orange, NSW, Australia

Re: I have proof that Mal still lives

Post by Steve78RS » Sat Jan 15, 2011 9:59 pm

Hi Boxers

Mal and I have just returned from a little Sunday ride. We stopped at the Little River, just outside Dubbo to watch some fish do what fish do. (see Mal on the /7 below).

Image

We brought along his neighbour Eric who rides a Harley. Eric is starting to see the error of his ways.

Great story She'llbe. It could be improved with the inclusion of BMW motorcycle. Be great if she lived on the other side of Charlie's island!

Steve from Dubbo
Image
R100RS to R100S Conversion

Duane Ausherman
Posts: 6008
Joined: Thu Aug 12, 2010 12:39 pm
Location: Galt California
Contact:

Re: joke for the day

Post by Duane Ausherman » Sat Jan 15, 2011 10:42 pm

When I first heard that joke, he asked her if he could check his email. I like this one better.
Ask the Indians what happens when you don't control immigration.

Doug
Posts: 68
Joined: Wed Aug 11, 2010 3:04 am

Re: joke for the day

Post by Doug » Sun Jan 16, 2011 4:44 am

Are you having a leak off the bridge, Mal?

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dougie
Posts: 2533
Joined: Wed Aug 04, 2010 6:19 pm
Location: Burlington Ontario, Canada

Re: joke for the day

Post by dougie » Fri Oct 20, 2017 3:33 pm

Is this Rob?
Help_This_Man.jpg
Help_This_Man.jpg (143.57 KiB) Viewed 942 times
I've spent most of my money on women, motorcycles, and beer.
The rest of it I just wasted.

Rob
Posts: 2925
Joined: Thu Feb 13, 2014 2:05 am

Re: joke for the day

Post by Rob » Fri Oct 20, 2017 4:46 pm

:lol:

How the hell did you dig up this ancient thread?

And that picture of my handsome other self...
Rob V

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dougie
Posts: 2533
Joined: Wed Aug 04, 2010 6:19 pm
Location: Burlington Ontario, Canada

Re: joke for the day

Post by dougie » Sat Oct 21, 2017 9:21 am

Rob wrote:
Fri Oct 20, 2017 4:46 pm
How the hell did you dig up this ancient thread?
I googled "boxerworks joke of the day".
I've spent most of my money on women, motorcycles, and beer.
The rest of it I just wasted.

Wobbly
Posts: 220
Joined: Mon Aug 07, 2017 8:48 pm

Re: joke for the day

Post by Wobbly » Mon Oct 23, 2017 9:18 pm

The version of the ship wreck joke around here ended with the girl asking the fellow if he "wanted to play around ?"

To which he replies, "This is too good to be true ! You mean you have a golf course too ?"
After 20 years as a professional bike mechanic and 30 years as an engineer I know just enough to be dangerous !

Wobbly
Posts: 220
Joined: Mon Aug 07, 2017 8:48 pm

Re: joke for the day

Post by Wobbly » Wed Oct 25, 2017 9:26 pm

Confucius Did Not Say...
Man who wants pretty nurse must be patient.

Lady who goes camping with man must beware of evil intent.

Man who leaps off cliff jumps to conclusion.

Man who runs in front of car gets tired, but man who runs behind car gets exhausted.

Man who eats many prunes get good run for money.

Man who drives like hell is bound to get there.

Man who stands on toilet is high on pot.

Wise man does not keep sledge hammer and slow computer in same room.

Man who lives in glass house should change clothes in basement.

A lion will not cheat on his wife, but a Tiger Wood!
After 20 years as a professional bike mechanic and 30 years as an engineer I know just enough to be dangerous !

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